Having shower, sitting down in front of the desk, turning on the lamp and the laptop. After these, I start to wait. Patiently wait in front of the laptop, when it gets online, I can’t wait any more to log on the chat-tool and find him, but no reply, everything seems so quiet at that moment.

+++Time in+++

--00:00AM--
Waiting, waiting and waiting…

Everything was quiet the whole evening, even though I sent him several messages, both via PM and mobile-phone. Kinda feeling more and more strange. What’s going on over there? Why doesn’t he reply my words? Nothing appears, not even a single word, from him.

--01:00AM--
“Sorry, the number you dialed can’t get through, please try it later.” I don’t know how many times this computer voice shown up when I dial his cell-phone, can’t count it either. Cause there are too many times, I guess.

Tried, tried and tried…

--02:00AM--
Hundreds of messages, thousands of miss calls, all those turns to be nothing during this night. No replying~ It’s getting to worry about him now!

Where is he? Where has he been to?
What was he doing and what is he doing right now?
Why doesn’t he return my messages and my calls?

--03:00AM--
Many pictures appear in my head, whenever I close my eyes and try to get some sleep, they just show up, right there, in front of me. Quiet, disappear, missing and lost, just a second, all these words run into my mind, after then there is only one feeling in the heart, which is fear. I am still not sure why I got this terrible fear, or may I say this fear could destroy me, my soul, my spirit if I couldn’t find a way to get out as soon as possible.

“Concentrate, baby” I said to myself quietly, “there must be some reason, but possibly not the terrible reason you aware of” I dial his mobile-phone again, hope to hear his voice and tell me that everything is wonderful, but only hear the sound of that computer voice.

--03:30AM--
At this moment, I suddenly realize that how much I care about him, and how much I need him. Hearing his voice, his breathing, his words, his laughing, which seem so important to me! He warms me, and makes me feel so special…

--05:30AM--
A short time of sleeping, the only thing I could remember is to check my mobile-phone time and time again, cause I don’t wanna miss any messages from him or calls from him. However, nothing!

--06:00AM--
The first thing to do after I wake up is to dial his cell-phone, and hope to get through this time. Disappointed again, nothing but the computer voice.

--07:30AM--
Get up reluctantly, and prepare to go to work. Thinking about him all the time…

--09:00AM--
“What are you thinking?” when a workmate asks me this, I realized that my mind goes wide, can’t really concentrate on doing work. Tried to call him again, still couldn’t get through! As time goes by, there is so much worry increasing in my heart. Right now, I could know that he is likely to affect me, my thought, my habit. I’m not sure if there are more other things to be effected by him, but the clear thing is that I can’t bear the feeling—without him in my life.

This kinda shocked me, but I should say it is the truth. What about his feeling towards me and our relationship in future then? I really wanna know…

--12:00AM--
The whole morning, I was out of my position and out of my mind, from which period I started to know the feeling of getting lost in emotion, so deeply. And I don't even know how to describe that feeling by words, it seems to be disturbed if speak out that feeling, maybe it's only suitable to be felt by heart without any single word.

Finally heard his voice after I had lunch at noon! Goodness, after million times of trying to dial his mobile-phone, it got through at last! His voice seems a little bit tired, and he told me that he went back home quite later last night, that's the reason why he didn't call me because he thought i might sleep already and he didn't wanna wake me up. Moreover, he didn't feel well, and his mobile has problem sometimes itself. All of those aspects result in this "lost situation". His words were calm when he told me all of the above, which kinda put me down, to some extent. I don't know whether he recognized my feeling of disappionted or by some other signals, he turned to be quite gender and sweet very soon, which meet my feeling more or less.

+++Time out+++

Totally, it's been 12 hours waiting and worrying, which gives me really deep expression about relationship with him. How could that be if I lose him somewhere? That's it! Although I really wanna know his reaction if he's got the same situation as I did these hours, what is he likely to be and to feel then? Is it possible for him to worry and care about me as well as I did? Only questions here right now, and still have room to find the keys...